


Seeing The Side of Me You Should

by bootson



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Hazing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 21:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootson/pseuds/bootson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This made absolutely no sense; what would his phone have to do with walking the...two miles or so back to campus in the rain? Hell, Spencer didn't even know where Brendon had started walking from in the first place. Who would...then it started to click. It was the beginning of April, <i>Hell Week</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing The Side of Me You Should

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for [](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[**hc_bingo**](http://hc-bingo.livejournal.com/) for the prompt _hazing_. Obviously, I missed the deadline. I couldn’t just let go of a nearly finished fic though so I decided I had to finish it and just post it during amnesty (sort of like I want to do with the hooker!Nate fic).  
>  Giant thanks AS ALWAYS to [](http://pikasafire.livejournal.com/profile)[**pikasafire**](http://pikasafire.livejournal.com/) for the beta and cheerleading and making me write in the first place. I’d never finish anything without her!  <3
> 
> Title from “Maybe” by Sick Puppies

Spencer was having a shit day, no two ways about it. He'd pulled an all-nighter studying for a History 104 exam, which meant he'd forgotten to do the reading for English 103, so _of course_ they'd had a quiz. Which he'd probably failed; he seriously doubted that James Joyce meant anything even resembling the "desolation of the new generation" when he wrote about old women staring at a painting of some random scene in _Romeo and Juliet_. Plus, Ryan had laughed his ass off when Spencer asked and that never meant anything promising. Just when he was about to crash after lunch and call it a day, he was offered an extra shift at work. He’d significantly depleted his bank account over Spring Break; it wasn’t even a contest between a nap or getting paid to spend a few hours selling overpriced hoodies and bracelets to self-impressed teenagers. Then there was the freak downpour that started up about ten minutes before Spencer closed and showed no signs of slowing down.

It wasn't the worst day he'd ever had, but it was still pretty bad. Not, he figured, as bad as the kid wandering down the side of the road. The shoulder wasn't too impressive, just a narrow patch of gravel and empty bottles, but this guy was practically leaning against the guardrail and trying to keep his footing even with the rain pouring down. It probably didn't help that the only shelter he seemed to have was a hoodie that was soaked through.

Spencer tapped the brake a bit harder, glancing in the rear-view mirror to see if anyone was coming. He _knew_ that hoodie, sat behind it in Bio and across from it in study group; he’d had coffee and lunch at the same table as that hoodie more than once. Slowing down, Spencer passed the huddled figure and eased over onto the shoulder. He watched, through the mirror and glow of his taillights, as the other boy paused then continued toward the car. When he was close enough, Spencer rolled down the window and leaned out, even though his hair was absorbing water at an alarming rate.

"What the fuck, Brendon?"

"Oh." Brendon pulled his hoodie tighter around himself and did a sort of half-jog, half-shuffle move to get to the window. "Spencer. Hey. What...uh, are you doing?"

Spencer rolled his eyes. "No. What are you doing? It's fucking freezing out there. Get in." His window was nearly up when he noticed Brendon was shaking his head. “Look, I'm not playing games. I'm tired and offering to let you drench my passenger seat. Get the fuck in the car."

"I...I," Brendon paused, trying to hide the tiny shivers running through his thin frame. "Can't. I have to walk back or I forfeit my phone."

"Are you- what does- _Brendon_." This made absolutely no sense; what would his phone have to do with walking the...two miles or so back to campus in the rain? Hell, Spencer didn't even know where Brendon had started walking from in the first place. Who would...then it started to click. It was the beginning of April, _Hell Week_. He remembered seeing Brendon hanging around a bunch of frat guys in the D.Hall a few times. Fucking Theta Xis.

"Did they ditch you out here and take your phone? Is this supposed to _prove_ something?" Spencer asked, even though he didn’t need to at this point.

For a solid twenty seconds, Brendon looked horrified, like it would be his ass on the line if someone knew there was fucking _hazing_ happening on campus. Well, considering it was prohibited by national chapters and the university, that might not be so far off. Brendon shook himself, visibly, and shrugged.

"It's not that far. I can walk. Once I get there, I'll sleep for a day and a half, it'll be fine."

"We have lecture at nine-thirty."

"Can I borrow your notes?"

"I swear to God, Urie. I will drag you into this car." But Brendon was shaking his head pretty emphatically so Spencer sighed and decided to give into the idiocy...provisionally. "Okay, I'll drop you a block from where ever you need to go. Deal?"

"That's not in the rules." His voice was smaller though, either because he really wanted the ride or was trying to work out if he could get away with it or not. Spencer was never really clear on what went on inside Brendon’s head when he wasn’t distracting you by talking a mile a minute and being bright and fucking cheerful all over the place.

“Brendon. You’re going to catch a cold.” Great, now he was channeling his mother. “And sneeze on me in lab. Then I’m going to get it and come after you. Save us both the trouble?”

Even though he was considering it, still, according to his expression, Brendon started around the car. The headlights caught him and Spencer dropped his head to the steering wheel so he wouldn’t have to see how sad Brendon looked, all soaked and tiny. Brendon pulled the door open and slid in, moving with some difficulty, probably because his jeans were tight enough before the water worked into the equation.

“Thanks.” The word was almost swallowed by the sound of the door slamming. Spencer shrugged and pulled back onto the road.

They lapsed into silence, not knowing each other well enough for small talk about much other than classes and that didn’t seem entirely appropriate, given the circumstances. The radio was playing quietly in the background but it seemed to ease some of the tension in Brendon’s shoulders. Before long, he was humming along to songs Spencer only vaguely knew.

“Music major, right?” It seemed innocuous enough.

“Music education,” Brendon corrected. “You’re accounting?”

“Right now. I’ll probably change it; I don’t know.” Spencer only declared a major because it looked better than having _undecided_ on your transcript, he figured.

In the shadows from the streetlights passing by, Spencer caught Brendon nodding. He was turned half in his seat to watch Spencer. When they hit a red light, Spencer took a deep breath. Maybe he should keep his mouth shut but Spencer was never very good at avoiding things or ignoring confusing situations. He was too goal-oriented for all of that; call it a character flaw.

“Why are you pledging? It’s...no offense or anything, but it’s really fucking stupid. You have to pay _dues_ and go through all this shit just so they’ll let you into their little clique. It’s not like they even have houses so you can get out of the dorms. Why put up with it?”

Spencer could practically feel Brendon shut down. Tension filled the car, the sheer density of it nearly choking Spencer. He really needed to remember that saying “no offense” wasn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card. Then Brendon was talking and...hell. What he was saying? It just made Spencer feel worse for so many reasons.

“Look, it’s not like I didn’t think the same thing, okay? I’m a music person. Most of these guys are into basketball or lacrosse or what-the-hell-ever. But I’ve been here a semester and it’s not like I have any friends.” Brendon inhaled, more of a gasp before rambling on. “And I tried. Really fucking hard. I’m awesome, right? I mean, you might not think so and most of the Thetas might not either, but I’ll get to be their brother when I finish all this _shit_. If I can just get a little more time, maybe I can make them like me. Didn’t work in high school, but we all grew up a little after that, right?”

Spencer wasn’t so sure about that, didn’t think he’d grown up at all but...someone blared their horn behind him, startling him into motion. They were nearing campus; Brendon was getting antsier and Spencer felt like a jerk. He’d had Bio 101 with Brendon last semester, too. They’d been in the same study group and Brendon was _smart_ , caught onto things really quickly. More than once, Spencer wondered why Brendon _needed_ a study group. Maybe he hadn’t; maybe he’d wanted the socialization.

Maybe Spencer was spending too much time in Social Science classes. Either way, Brendon was friendly with everyone, sharp witted and sardonic when he forgot himself. His face was expressive and really fucking attractive. Plus, his ass was just about perfect. Basically, the guy was hot and had this interesting personality. Looking back, Spencer couldn't remember why he’d never tried to pursue that.

“So now you’re...paying people to be your friend?”

“Fuck you,” Brendon snapped in a voice so harsh that Spencer barely recognized it. “I don’t need you judging me, too.”

“Brendon, that’s not...”

“Whatever. Let me out here.”

They were at a stop sign and Spencer hadn’t ever been called impulsive. Still, it was clear Brendon was going to bolt so he tapped the gas a little harder than necessary and went straight instead of taking the left back to campus.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” Brendon sounded weary, but Spencer couldn’t just let this go.

He wasn’t sure why, didn’t usually have a huge issue with fraternities. The people pledging all the Greek organizations were typically douchebags and bitches, though. Brendon, obviously, wasn’t really either of those. He told Brendon as much and was rewarded with a snort for his trouble.

“I mean it, Brendon. Yeah. You’re kind of an asshole sometimes, but what the fuck. They’re way worse than you.”

“Can we not do this right now?” Brendon muttered, sounding like he knew he’d already lost that fight. Which was fine, Spencer didn’t mind a little low-level kidnapping if he could just fucking _understand_ why Brendon was putting up with this nonsense when he obviously wasn’t getting all that much out of it in return.

Spencer tried not to wince. “Look, I’m sorry, seriously. I was out of line. Like, what the fuck does it matter what I think, right? If you want to be in a fraternity it’s not like you have to explain yourself to me or anything. I mean we’re not…”

Even though he stopped short, Spencer heard Brendon’s intake of breath at the implication.

“It’s cool. I mean, it’s not, but I get it. You said you’re sorry. It’s fine. I just…I think I’m out. I’m not going to get a bid anyway.”

“Why the hell not?” Yeah, he sounded indignant on Brendon’s part but were these people for real? Brendon was trying really fucking hard here; Spencer could see it but, apparently, that just wasn’t good enough for these assholes.

“Same reason I’m missing texts and calls right now.” Seemingly realizing he was giving too much away again, Brendon shifted around, staring anywhere that wasn’t Spencer.

“Everyone’s not doing the rainy walk of shame bullshit?” He was afraid of the answer.

“I missed a pledge meeting because I ended up in the practice rooms too late,” Brendon explained. Spencer was seeing red when Brendon continued. “It really wasn’t my fault. Cassadee has to rewrite three songs because Jersey ditched her in the middle of the project to…do whatever Jersey does. So she ran into my time and I couldn’t just kick her out. I was just practicing but she was actually working, you know?”

He was being punished for being fucking _helpful_ and too nice to the other kids in his department? This was….Spencer couldn’t even find words for it through the sudden rage that hit him, leaving him breathing a little more heavily than usual.

Very carefully, Spencer turned into the closest parking lot he saw. They ended up at a car wash, parked between the vacuum cleaners and the automatic wash’s payment kiosk. Spencer kicked his Honda into park, killing the lights and turning to Brendon. There were streetlights, but the car was still in shadows. Nonetheless, Spencer could see the way Brendon’s hair was drying in a dozen different directions; he manfully resisted the urge to flatten out Brendon’s hair for him.

“What the fuck, man?”

“This is my punishment, to prove I’m still interested. They took my phone so I couldn’t just call for a ride so…this,” he waved a hand around, “is probably going to fuck everything up.” He shook, just a little and Spencer reached to turn the heat up.

“Fuck, you’re shivering.” It was probably the most inane thing for Spencer to point out but…still.

Brendon just shrugged and gave Spencer a watery smile.

“Look, okay, just don’t go back. Fuck that noise, man. Do you really think they’ll even give you your phone back? After you got a ride and everything?” Which was Spencer’s fault, but whatever.

“You don’t get it. I’ll just get a fine or something. They’ll make fun of me, but probably still let me in. I’ve been working for this _all_ semester.” Great, now Brendon was changing his story and grasping at straws with a strangely emphatic tone of desperation.

“But you don’t even like them!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Spencer Smith _knew people_ , okay? He maybe didn’t have any Theta Xi numbers programed into his phone, but someone he knew had to...

He grabbed Brendon’s wrist. “Look, let me take you back to your room, okay? Don’t worry about the Theta Xis. I’ll get your phone back; you won’t get a fine; and you can just….whatever, hang out with me. You don’t need the abuse.”

For some reason, that seemed to make Brendon look even more stricken. “Spencer…you really think William’s just going to hand it over? To you? After I told you shit I’m sworn to secrecy on?”

Squeezing Brendon’s wrist, Spencer nodded. “I have connections, okay? Trust me.”

“Whatever. I live in Miller.”

It couldn’t be this easy, but Spencer…well, he didn’t know why this was bothering him so much. Unless it was just because Brendon was a nice kid and he was currently sitting in Spencer’s car, shivering, even though the heat was on high…and it was all because some bullshit fraternity wanted to make an example of him.

Spencer flipped his lights back on and forced himself to stay calm as he drove back three blocks so he could turn onto the street leading to campus. Brendon was completely silent, except for the occasional sound of teeth chattering. When Spencer pulled up to Miller Hall, which Spencer absently noted was the Honors Dorms, Brendon practically jumped out.

“Uh…thanks…” But he didn’t pull out his keys or his ID to get into the building so Spencer leaned across the passenger seat.

“Don’t go back there, okay? I’ll get your phone and I’ll bring it to you before class tomorrow. Just meet me out here at nine.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Brendon snapped, bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment, then slammed the door.

Spencer sighed and watched Brendon fight to pull his keys from his soaked jeans pocket then reached for his phone.

He scrolled through his contacts until he got to the J’s and hit the call button. He really didn’t want to make this call, but…well, desperate times. The phone rang…and rang…and rang some more. Just when Spencer was starting to think he was going to get ignored, he watched Brendon clear the entrance to the building and there was a lazy voice talking in his ear.

“Spence? What…” The confusion was understandable, but Spencer didn’t have time for that.

“Jon. Hey. Tom was in Lamda Chi, right? Weren’t they all tight and shit with the Theta Xis?”

Jon coughed then hummed. “Uh. I guess? That’s all you wanted to know?”

“Look, is Tom around? I don’t have his new number and I just need to ask him a couple things.”

“Yeah, uh, sure. Hold on.”

There was shuffling then Jon was calling for Tom. There was some muffled response then Jon’s voice was back.

“He’s coming. So…um. How’ve you been?”

Spencer sighed and drummed his fingers against his steering wheel for a moment. “I’m good. Great even. Never been better. I just have a…friend who’s having some issues with the Thetas and I didn’t know who else to call.”

“I thought…well, maybe you’d changed your mind… I mean, we both said some things… And you’re talking to Ryan again…”

“Yeah, well, Ryan wasn’t the one cheating on me. He just didn’t out you before Eric did.”

“Spencer…” Jon sounded…regretful. The same way he’d sounded when Spencer had kicked Jon out of his dorm room and proceeded to make Cash to switch rooms so Spencer wouldn’t have to see Ryan until he’d calmed down.

It wasn’t Spencer’s finest moment, but he’d made his peace with that. His peace with Jon fucking Walker was going to take a little more than four months, though.

“Tom’s coming, can you just. Can I call you? Can we…I meant it when I asked about being friends…”

“I not in the market for new friends,” Spencer said. “Sorry. Let me talk to Conrad.”

“Smith? You calling to-“ Tom started. He was fiercely protective of Jon so Spencer cut him off before he could get a rant going.

“Which William is in Theta Xi?”

“What?”

Spencer took a deep breath and counted to five. “Theta Xi. The fraternity. Which William would be fucking with pledges and stealing their shit?”

Tom whistled. “I bet you have a serious bitch face going with that tone.”

“Tom.”

“Uh.” Tom was quiet for a second, mumbling things that sounded like names and office titles. “There are a couple but it’s probably Beckett. Gabe was Membership last year, but I think he wanted President this year and he’d probably make Bill run for something that would put him in the Top Three, too. Plus, Membership is always the person who deals with pledges and rush and shit.”

“So I’m looking for Bill Beckett?”

“I..guess? What are you going to do?”

“Punch him in the throat and threaten to go to the campus paper with it; I don’t know. Thanks, man. Tell Jon to delete my number, yeah?” He hung up before Tom could splutter a response and then refused to answer when he called back.

Besides, Spencer had things to do and if those things were going to involve Bill Beckett and Gabe Saporta, he needed to conserve his energy. Spencer knew which dorm Bill was in this year, only because his roommate was Mike Carden and Mike had ECON with Spencer on Thursday nights. He’d gone to the bar with the whole lot of them a few times but never knew they were actually into this hazing shit.

He probably would have shoved one of Bill’s stupid Coronas down his throat otherwise.

Spencer sighed and pulled a hasty U-turn so he was headed for the right building. Apparently, he wasn’t getting to bed any time in the near future.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Spencer was early and it was fucking cold out. The rain had apparently washed all the heat out of the air. He maybe should have thought about that before he grabbed the first t-shirt he could find on his way out the door.

Whatever. Too late to worry about that now. He leaned against one of the concrete pillars outside Brendon’s building, checking his email on his phone and glaring every time someone who wasn’t Brendon came out the door.

It was getting close to nine and Spencer really wanted to get some coffee before he had to be in Bio. Maybe he should have made Brendon meet him earlier.

 _Finally_ , Brendon showed up, bundled up in a different hoodie, with his glasses on for a change and his hair still in a million directions.

“Hey!” Spencer belatedly realized he was a little loud when Brendon jumped.

“Uh. Hi…So,” Brendon shifted around, fidgeting with his messenger bag without actually looking up from the ground.

Spencer sighed and reached out to tap Brendon’s shoulder. When Brendon looked up, Spencer gave him a bright grin. Brendon looked startled and Spencer used that time to dig into his own bag.

When he looked up again, it was to watch Brendon as he handed over Brendon’s phone. “It’s almost dead. I would have charged it, but my phone has a weird charger so it didn’t fit.”

Brendon reached out carefully, watching his hand close around his phone as if Spencer was going to pull it away. He pressed a few buttons, checked the missed call log and finally looked up.

He was wearing a much brighter grin than Spencer could ever remember seeing on his face. It looked…well, Brendon looked _happy_. Spencer hadn’t realized how many of Brendon’s grins hadn’t translated into happiness before now and…he didn’t know what to make of that.

“How? I mean, William said…”

“Bill’s a dick,” Spencer shrugged. “It’s not a big deal or anything. I called in some favors, it’s fine.” He decided Brendon didn’t need to know about the threats he’d made and the look on Beckett’s face when Spencer had brought up Brendon’s name. “He does, by the way, say he’s sorry. They didn’t realize you were going to get rained on. Then when he sent Adam back for you, you hadn’t gone the way they had thought you would.”

“I took a short cut.” The confused tone didn’t match the nearly worshipful look Brendon was giving him. “You… _Spencer_. You didn’t have to…for me, I mean. You really shouldn’t…”

“Brendon, it’s okay. Really. And Beckett said you can come back to the meetings and shit if you want. You’re pretty much guaranteed a bid.” He forced himself to look over Brendon’s shoulder instead of at him. He didn’t think he managed to keep the irritation out of his voice but no one could say he hadn’t tried.

“I…Why did you do this? I could have gone back and begged. It would have been…well, I could have done it.” Brendon would have, that much was obvious from how solemn his voice was.

“We’re friends,” Spencer told him, maybe too emphatically. “It’s what you do for your friends.”

Brendon laughed a little, practically dancing from foot to foot, then, before Spencer could say anything, Brendon darted in. He wrapped his arms around Spencer’s neck and held on tight. Quietly, Spencer laughed as he wrapped an arm around Brendon’s waist, hand clenching in Brendon’s shirt.

“I programmed my number in. Text me or whatever,” Spencer whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Reluctantly, Spencer pulled away, running his hand down Brendon’s back to straighten out his shirt. “So. We’ve got about twenty minutes or whatever. Want to get coffee before class?”

Biting his lip and clutching his phone, Brendon looked up at Spencer through his eyelashes. It was almost coy; Spencer couldn’t help his answering grin. “And a chocolate muffin? Breakfast of champions, Smith!”

“Yeah,” Spencer promised, feeling indulgent. “Yeah. I could probably make that happen.”

 **END**


End file.
